a friend's going to become a daddy in a few months and many people know now that it's going to be a boy. so, naturally, it's time to pick a name.

of course, in all seriousness, i can come up with an appropriate name, taking both family, historical and audio cues, especially those for whatever children i'll end up releasing into the world (although i don't think any woman would go for gomez, but here's hoping). still, picking a name has to be done carefully, or the poor child will wind up with something that can't be spelled, said or not snickered at.

so, without further adieu, from the instant messenger files (most typos cleaned up, although some kept in for contextual amusement):

g: so, what's the new baby name gonna be?
b: no name picked [yet]
b: possibilities tho
b: we had a girl name picked out.... but not a boy name
b: so, i guesss, we have a little work to do
g: yeah, i rem[ember] the gir[l]'s name.
g: daphne victoria.
b: yep
g: ...which could be used as a boy's name if you're feeling cruel.
b: hmmmm....
g: ...and you never ever want him to contact you again once he grows up.
b: yep
b: unless he likes the name
g: you could go warner brothers and call him 'daffy'
g: daffy victor bida.
b: hmmmm... well, yeah... um. no. good idea... but no. Maybe Butterfly King Bida.
b: sounds better?
g: how about Moth Ruler Bida?
b: Hey, now that's subtle
b: or Monarch Lord of the Earth and all within[] it Bida
g: uh....
g: ....no.
b: a bit long.... yeah, maybe
g: yeah, you need something more peppy, like Beef Slapjaw Bida.
g: Stumpy the Wonder Horse Bida.
b: Broadpecks Keggdrinker Bida
g: Chest Armstrong Bida
b: Chester for long
b: Chester the longstrong Bida
g: Brick Twofour Bida
g: Lance Hammerhead Bida
g: Grunk Muscletooth Bida
b: Wrestleswithmooses Bida
g: Runs Face First into a Transport Truck Smiling Bida
b: hmmm... that last one might arouse suspision in these wood necks
g: yeah.
b: gonna nuke some chicken... be back in a minuete
b: minuette
g: gotcha.
b: yeah... me dance... just watch
g: i'll go baby name crazy until you come back.
b: k
g: Flexnor Jabajuve Ingot Bida
g: Bingo Watchmy Raging Hardon Bida
g: Buddha Rhubarb Butterball Turkey Bida
g: The Latex Popped andthat's Why Iyamhere Bida
g: Thank God That Gary Freak Didn't Name Me Bida
b: those are all front runners for sure

(and yes, i went a bit mst3k heavy with the space mutiny references, but hey, that's what sci fi saturday mornings are like. nutty in lethal doses.)